God's Plans for Us

Just five days from today, I will be on my way to Oklahoma.

I have five days left with my family. Five days of memories to be made before we are separated for three months by thousands of miles.

On Wednesday, my sister Emily and I are leaving home to attend Heartland Baptist Bible College in Oklahoma City. This is a huge step for two girls who have lived most of their lives in isolated Alaskan villages. Whenever we get out of the village it is a bit humorous. We exclaim over riding in a vehicle at 60 MPH, paved roads, trees (ha!), going to Wal-Mart, and other such "marvels." (chuckle) This is going to be a huge change for us. The college campus itself is the size of my village's population. You wouldn't think we would experience culture shock, would you?

Last summer while my family and I were on furlough in the States, we had the opportunity to visit Heartland's campus. As we toured the buildings I had this undeniable sense, This is where God wants me to be. I had such peace. And I loved everything about Heartland. I knew it could easily feel like "home away from home." It wasn't too big or impressive, nor was it too small. My sister and I prayed about the decision for some time and finally came to know that Heartland was indeed where the Lord wanted us to attend.

At this point I am at perfect peace. However, arriving at this point was a struggle. It is true that am very hesitant about these life-altering changes in my life. I dread the thought of saying goodbye to my precious family. Even so, I am absolutely certain that this next step is God's perfect will for me. I want to cling to the familiar, but I know that I must go forward with God.

God's plans for us often take turns that we never expected we'd come to. Two years ago when I graduated from homeschool, we were making plans for my sister and me to leave home for Bible college. However, various situations led us to consider studying at home for a few years via correspondence. At that point I was uncertain about God's will for my life. I questioned whether it was truly right for me as a young lady to leave my home and my father's protection to attend college. To be truthful, I was inwardly bucking against the idea of going away to college because I truly thought it would be the wrong thing to do. And then the Lord led us to study at home through Landmark Baptist College's directed studies. I was immensely relieved and so happy. 

So the Lord allowed my family another two years to be together as my sister and I took our classes. It was a wonderful experience; we both learned and grew so much spiritually. At the same time, we were able to continue helping in our home and serving in the ministry. Looking back now, I can't thank the Lord enough for giving us two extra years at home. They were absolutely essential to my life. It was a time of preparation.

In the past two years, I have learned so many needed homemaking skills that I would have neglected had I left home. I have been given the opportunity of working alongside my parents in our ministry. God has taught me so many valuable lessons in the past two years that I would otherwise never have learned. At 18, I know I would not have been ready to face the many challenges and responsibilities of being on my own. This season of waiting and learning was so important to my life. I don't doubt for a moment that I have been in the center of His will all along, for I have been so blessed and so happy. The center of God's will is the only place where you can be happy.

Perhaps some people have looked at my life during these past two years and questioned my sanity as I told them, "I am so happy here." They believed it was my right to leave the confines of this little Alaskan village and experience "real life" in the States. Were it not for the contentment God has given me in the center of His will, I would probably have thought the very same way!

Thoughts on Shattered Dreams

Christ is building His kingdom with earth's broken things. Men want only the strong, the successful, the victorious, the unbroken, in building their kingdoms; but God is the God of the unsuccessful, of those who have failed. Heaven is filling with earth's broken lives, and there is no bruised reed that Christ cannot take and restore to glorious blessedness and beauty. He can take the life crushed by pain or sorrow and make it into a harp whose music shall be all praise. He can lift earth's saddest failure up to heaven's glory.

J.R. Miller

This thought encouraged me so much the other day. I've seen the Lord do this incredible thing in so many lives. He raises up the shattered lives of His people and recreates them into something so beautiful. It's what He loves doing. He gets so much glory from it. 

We need to pray that God would break us because only then can He make something in us that will bring Him amazing praise. Right now I see Him doing that in my life. He's broken my hopes for the future, the goals that I believed would be the most glorifying to Him, and instead He's doing things in my life that are so much different than I ever dreamed He would do. And in these things, He is going to get more glory than I ever thought possible... if I will simply trust what He's doing in my life and walk in perfect unity with Him. I want so much to see His plans become true in my life. It is the only thing worth living for. Regardless of my feelings, I can't wait to see what's around the next corner. With my wonderful Lord leading, I have this perfect certainty that it's going to be beautiful.

With the amazing God that we have, shattered dreams are not a bad thing but sometimes the best thing that could ever happen to us. It's when our feeble, even sometimes foolish, plans are destroyed that God leads us into so much better ways than what we could ever have chosen. He is worthy of our trust!

In the photos: 1) Rain-drenched tundra grasses and flowers. It was the most incredible thing I had ever seen. The picture simply doesn't do God's handiwork justice! 2) Glowing and shimmering in the late sunlight, rustling grass in which I heard Him pass... He speaks to me everywhere.