Character Building

Chapter Four of Beautiful Girlhood by Mabel Hale 

“Let every man take heed how he buildeth.” (I Cor. 3:10)

The most precious earthly treasure a girl can have is character. Her character is what she really is. If she will look beyond what she appears to be, and what people think of her, and look at her heart fairly and honestly, judging herself by the standards of right and wrong to which her own conscience gives sanction, then she can know whether she has a good character. When a girl is misunderstood and misjudged, it is comforting to know that deep in her heart she has been true. But it will rob even her friends’ praises of the real pleasure if, in her heart, she knows she has been untrue.

Character is not given to us; we build it ourselves. Others may furnish the material, may set before us the right standards and ideals, may give us reproof and correction, may guide our actions and mold our thoughts—but after all, we build our own character. It is we, ourselves, who take of the influence about us, copy the ideals, reach the standards, and make ourselves what we are.

The Queen Who Chose to Be a Servant

Esther was a great woman. Her greatness did not come from prestige or riches, nor did it come from her beauty or personality. The source of her greatness was her simple willingness to do all that her Lord commanded her to do. God honored Esther in such wonderful ways only because she placed herself in the position to be an instrument to Him. She is the central figure of a marvelous story, a true story full of beauty and glory to God.

The story of Esther took place after the captivity of Judah and during the time of their restoration. Judah was first captured by Babylon, and Babylon was then overthrown by Persia. Therefore, Persia was the world power at this time, controlling a total of one hundred twenty-seven provinces. These provinces spanned from Ethiopia to India. The Biblical period of the book of Esther is between those of the books of Ezra and Nehemiah. The rebuilding of the temple in Jerusalem had been completed under the leadership of Ezra but the walls of the city had not yet been rebuilt under Nehemiah's direction.

God placed Judah in captivity because of their rebellion against His laws and His prophets. Although He allowed them to return after seventy years of judgment, they did not even desire to do so. They were content to remain where they were, having little to do with the LORD their God and His righteous laws. It would seem that God would chastise them yet again in order to drive them back to their homeland, but we see from this story and others during this period that God was merciful to them; He loved His people with “an everlasting love.” (Jer. 31:3)

It was during this time that an enemy of the Jews, a man named Haman, sought to utterly destroy God's chosen people.  Though they were completely undeserving of His mercy, God rose up a deliverer to save them from certain destruction. Through the amazing story of a woman named Esther, we see God’s marvelous mercy and kindness toward His sinning people. It is also worth mentioning that, although the name of God does not once appear throughout this account, His hand can be traced through even the most minute of circumstances.

Further Reading on Submission

I have learned a great deal about submission as a daughter, but seeing as I am unmarried, I do not yet have any experience in submitting to a husband. =) Mrs. Julie Fink at her wonderful Journal for Women has some excellent articles on what the Bible has to say about this topic of submission. Mrs. Fink is a very wise and precious lady and I just love learning new truths from her! I hope you will prayerfully read these articles she has written and benefit from them.

• Submissive by Choice
• Reverence for a Husband
• The Sweet Side of Submission
• The Ministry of Submission
• The Blessings of Submission
• The Blessings of Submission (continued)
• The Blessings of Submission (concluded)
• All He Wanted Was Reverence
• Know Him, He's Your Man

What Is Submission?

Warning! If you're a normal, thinking woman you will not enjoy this blog post. You might even dislike ME halfway into reading it! Perhaps you will grow red with indignation; maybe your stomach will even churn. (chuckle) But be brave! Press on and read to the end. And please pray that God would create a work in your soul that you are unable to do yourself.

It is with an earnest desire that God would work in the hearts of His dear ladies that I have written this entry and have chosen to share it publicly. It is a work we desperately need Him to do, for the evidence of our need is written plainly on the epistles of our hearts, known and read of all men. Humble yourself as a little child and please let Him do it, for you will be so richly blessed. I can say that because I know. Oh, I know!

Lovingly,

Naomi

We teach little ones the verse, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right." (Eph. 6:1) We want them to grow up loving and obeying Daddy and Mommy. Parents tell their children to do this and that, and not to do this and that because they want their children to be happy and safe. The methods of discipline chosen by parents are not pleasant but the goal in mind is good. When a child comes to realize the good purpose of spankings and other forms of discipline, that knowledge will instill in the child a desire and a willingness to obey. The child understands the truth of God's Word: "for this is right." It transforms that child's heart and attitude completely. Happy submission to Daddy and Mommy becomes his response to instruction.

When God established the first institution, the family, He designed it according to a very specific structure. Just as a contractor builds a house according to a well-thought-out plan, God created the home according to how it would best function and endure. We see in chapters five and six of Ephesians that God's structure for the family is God: Christ: husband: wife: children. It only works one way. This structure of authority does not equal various levels of superiority and inferiority, but simply different levels of "say-so."

Girls, what is your heart like? When a situation arises between you and your parents and you disagree with them, what is your response? Are disagreeable words the first thing out of your mouth? Do you resist their counsel and instruction? Is your attitude, "But I'm right; they're so unreasonable; they don't understand"?

As I have grown up, I have struggled with arguing. I have not always seen it as arguing, but my dad is more perceptive than me. =) My logic was that if I did not speak disrespectfully or have a saucy look in my eye, that constituted not arguing, regardless of my disagreeing with him and voicing those opinions. (Ha! Hardly.) I am thankful that whenever we have had a disagreement about something, he has firmly but quietly told me, "Don't argue." Ouch! I would close my mouth at once, but in my heart I would continue arguing. My simmering rebellion evidenced itself in the "silent treatment." Sure, I knew better than to act disrespectful. As I entered my teens I made a commitment to never speak to or treat my parents disrespectfully, and though I have had my failures God by His grace has helped me keep my commitment. But I soon came to learn that disrespect goes far deeper than how you merely treat and respond to your authorities. I finally realized this truth and how it helped me! God started creating a change in my silent rebellious spirit. But there was one thing I still needed to learn.

Lessons for Life

Life-lessons are so important to me. I love to see examples of timeless truths in daily circumstances, in God's works of creation, from the lips of precious ladies, and especially from the pages of the Bible.

I listened to the last paragraph of Beautiful Girlhood being read as I folded laundry last Saturday evening. It was a bittersweet moment. Beautiful Girlhood was one of the most wisdom-rich books I have ever experienced. Yet I felt there was so much more that could be said, such depths of wisdom that I still needed to hear and apply. As Proverbs tells us, "The words of a man's mouth are as deep waters." There is so much sweet, refreshing water in this book, and I feel that my bucket is far too small to bring up all that I want from it. I am more convinced than ever to share the entire volume on my blog, for I see how desperately young ladies today need to hear its timeless message, calling us to be all we can be as Godly ladies by God's grace.

Ladies, do you not see what a noble calling God has given to us? Why is God's standard for marriage and motherhood so despised? How did it happen? I feel like weeping as I see what has our enemy has accomplished in so short a time! One of God's best gifts has been turned into a curse, a burden, a hindrance to fulfillment and happiness, when that priceless gift is the surest source of satisfaction we can ever have. Satan is so good at what he does, and his best tools are those we possess ourselves: selfishness and conceited ideas shaped by society.

We are not going to find God's plan for us in the world.  God's plan is not popular; it is viewed as old-dated and confining to the abilities and rights of women. To hear people talk, God's plan is wrong! But God says, "Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!" (Isa. 5:20) The truth is, real freedom and fulfillment as a woman can only be found as we follow God's perfect plan for us. It has been hidden beneath the trash-heap of feminist ideas. We must seek God's wisdom out diligently or we will not find it.

Librivox Audiobooks

Lately I have been listening to audiobooks from Librivox.org. My first delightful experience with the method of audible reading was listening to Louisa May Alcott's Under the Lilacs. Oh, what a cute little book! It is a wonderful story about Ben, Betty, Bab, and Miss Celia, among others. They learn important lessons about being a faithful friend and helping those in need -- and doing so generously. They face terrible hardships and losses but come smiling through. What fun times they have together; what heroic adventures! Any child would be delighted to listen to this wonderful book full of merriment and interesting happenings. More "grown up" people who enjoy the company and the tales of children (such as myself =) would equally enjoy the experience, I'm sure.

Upon my completion of Under the Lilacs, I was ready to moved on to a more thought-provoking genre. Last Friday I began A Journey to the Interior of the Earth by Jules Verne and finished it in less than a week. It's a very educating book; it's packed full of scientific talk. So much so that at times my mind often drifted away to more interesting contemplations while Dr. Lidenbrock and Axel discussed such matters. =) I have serious problems with the book, however. I wish I had known beforehand that Jules Verne took a very evolutionist viewpoint. In fact, the entire inspiration of the book is based on "Charles Lyell's Geological Evidences of the Antiquity of Man of 1863 (and probably also influenced by Lyell's earlier ground-breaking work Principles of Geology). By that time geologists had abandoned a literal biblical account of Earth's development and it was generally thought that the end of the last glacial period marked the first appearance of humanity..." (Source) What was even worse is that Verne actually took a theistic evolutionist view, which is the belief that God created matter and simply left it to evolve! Folks, it made me sick. I skipped great portions of many chapters. Therefore, I do not recommend A Journey to the Interior of the Earth.

Presently I am listening to a book with which I agree whole-heartedly, Beautiful Girlhood by Mabel Hale. What a treasure of a book! It was written in 1922 especially for teenage girls. It is so full of Biblical wisdom and timeless lessons. Every lady should read this book, old as well as young! I am no longer in my teens but I have learned so much from Mrs. Hale's wise, truthful words. Beautiful Girlhood is in the public domain, meaning it is no longer under copyright, so I have decided to undertake the privilege of sharing Mrs. Hale's book on my blog. I truly hope it will be a blessing to all of the ladies who visit my little home on the web. You can expect an appearance of the forward and preface shortly!

Fashionably Puffed Sleeves

Anne took the dress and looked at it in reverent silence. Oh, how pretty it was -- a lovely soft brown gloria with all the gloss of silk; a skirt with dainty frills and shirrings; a waist elaborately pintucked in the most fashionable way, with a little ruffle of filmy lace at the neck. But the sleeves -- they were the crowning glory! Long elbow cuffs, and above them two beautiful puffs divided by rows of shirring and bows of brown-silk ribbon.

"I don't see how I'm going to eat breakfast," said Anne rapturously. "Breakfast seems so commonplace at such an exciting moment. I'd rather feast my eyes on that dress. I'm so glad that puffed sleeves are still fashionable. It did seem to me that I'd never get over it if they went out before I had a dress with them. I'd never have felt quite satisfied, you see."

Antique photographs are my thing. Last summer while shopping at an antique shop, I found a beautiful photograph of a lady from the 1930's (my guess). The sweet expression on her lovely face drew me to the picture, and I had to ask the price. Five dollars! I couldn't pass her up. So I bought her and took her home with me.

Household Cleaning 101

I love Saturdays. I love laying my head on my pillow after a long, busy day with a sense of satisfaction that comes from getting so much accomplished. Today everything within sight in the kitchen got scrubbed and scoured, and I finally got to those dusty, greasy light fixtures! Amazing how much brighter the kitchen is now. =)

I discovered a wonderful new "cleaning product" today. Have you ever noticed that, however hard you scrub at smudges on stainless steel appliances, they just won't come clean?! I don't know about you, but it drives me crazy. Somewhere recently, though, I read about polishing stainless steel appliances with olive oil, so today I tried it. Ta-da! I never saw anything so shiny. And it was completely effortless! Just thought I'd pass that tip along. (wink)

Allow me share a few other cleaning tips with you while I'm on the subject.

An orange is precious thing. It is not to be wasted. Not any of it!

Okay, so being produce-deprived has made me somewhat eccentric. (chuckle) However, there are incredible uses for orange peels like you wouldn't believe! 

Grandma's Apron

Author Unknown

I don't think our children know what an apron is.

The principal use of Grandma's apron was to protect the dress underneath because she only had a few. It was also because it was easier to wash aprons than dresses and aprons used less material.

But along with that, it served as a potholder for removing hot pans from the oven.

It was wonderful for drying children's tears, and on occasion was even used for cleaning out dirty ears.

From the chicken coop, the apron was used for carrying eggs, fussy chicks, and sometimes half-hatched eggs to be finished in the warming oven.

When company came, those aprons were ideal hiding places for shy kids.

And when the weather was cold Grandma wrapped it around her arms.

Those big old aprons wiped many a perspiring brow, bent over the hot wood stove. Chips and kindling wood were brought into the kitchen in that apron.

From the garden, it carried all sorts of vegetables. After the peas had been shelled, it carried out the hulls.

In the fall, the apron was used to bring in apples that had fallen from the trees.

When unexpected company drove up the road, it was surprising how much furniture that old apron could dust in a matter of seconds.

When dinner was ready, Grandma walked out onto the porch, waved her apron, and the men folk knew it was time to come in from the fields to dinner.

It will be a long time before someone invents something that will replace that old-time apron that served so many purposes.

Remember this: Grandma used to set her hot baked apple pies on the window sill to cool. Her granddaughters set theirs on the window sill to thaw. They would go crazy now trying to figure out how many germs were on that apron. I don't think I ever caught anything from an apron... but love.

Audible Behavior

Your actions speak. What do they say of you? Do they express that you value that which is good and pleasing to God? Are your deeds kind and gracious extensions of your heart? What unspoken utterances do others hear from you?

1 John 3:18 My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.

Information concerning painting:

Genuine Grace: "The Shell," artist unknown [original]

Selflessness

Devotional by Mrs. Molly Audiss

(From Christian Womanhood's weekly evotions)

Ephesians 5:21 "Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God."

A very damaging philosophy was started and embraced in our country in the 1960s and 1970s--feminism. This teaching really took hold of the female population, and it has not let go since. No matter how godly our mothers were, or how well they trained us, any girl growing up since the 1970s has feminism "in her blood," because it saturates everything in our society. We must be aware of this wrong philosophy, and we must be able to discern if this wrong thinking has corrupted our own minds.

I have heard many Christian ladies speak on the topic of submission. This topic is so opposite of the world's femininistic view, that, each time I hear teaching on this subject, the speaker must first spend a few minutes "disarming" the audience, just to get a crowd of women to give her a hearing. The ERA movement has really sold us a bill of goods, telling us that submission is a very bad thing.

Submission is actually a very biblical and Christlike characteristic. Submission is not a woman being a slave and a doormat to her husband. Submission is, very simply, unselfishness. It is wanting the other person to get his way. It is giving up what we want for someone else. Jesus showed us the example of true submission when He came to earth and died on the cross. Philippians 2:7 and 8 says, "But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross."

Submission is not just for the husband-wife relationship. This kind of selfless living is the way that God expects each Christian to act toward all human beings. Submission is to be used toward parents, siblings, children, coworkers, employers, neighbors, strangers driving in the car next to us on the road, etc.

The book of Ruth is all about submission. Ruth shows nothing but unselfishness throughout this story. Her submission was mainly toward her mother-in-law. Allow me to point out something interesting in the Scriptures. There are two sets of verses in the Old Testament that are often used to show love and commitment between two lovers.

1. Genesis 31:49 "The LORD watch between me and thee, when we are absent one from another." This verse is usually found on a necklace divided into two halves. Each person wears one half.

2. These verses are often found on wedding programs. Ruth 1:16 and 17 "...Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God: Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried: the LORD do so to me, and more also, if oiught but death part thee and me."

The interesting thing about these verses is that neither one of them has a romantic origin. Both of these verses are conversations between in-laws. The first reference is spoken by Laban to his son-in-law Jacob. The other verses are spoken by Ruth to her mother-in-law Naomi. Sometimes an in-law relationship is a tense one. I thank God for the wonderful bond I have with my mother-in-law; but oftentimes there can be strains in in-law relationships. I think that the Lord wants to teach us that, even in difficult relationships, submission is always the answer!

Look at how unselfish Ruth is. She leaves her own country, her own family, and everything she has ever known to stay with her mother-in-law and be a help to her. Then, she humbles herself and gleans (which is close to begging) in a field so that she and Naomi will not starve. Later, on Naomi's request, Ruth swallows her pride again as she agrees to ask a rich land owner to marry her because it was his duty! That is what you call unselfishness. Thankfully, everything works out, and, like Cinderella, Ruth marries the rich man and goes down in history.

The Lord is not interested in our looking out for "number one." He wants us to submit in our relationships. As always, this is the direct opposite of what the world tells us is the way to happiness. But our God knows that the surest way for us to be happy is for us to live unselfish lives. It is not natural--it is supernatural--we will need the Lord's help every day if we endeavor to die to our own wants and live for others. Let's swallow our pride, purge our minds of feminist thinking, and start today a life of submission.